that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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