I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
