I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
