the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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