Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
