I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
