my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
