just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
