i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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