I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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