i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
