u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
