She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
