From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
