It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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