Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
