whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
