Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
