i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
How's work?
Spinning.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We're too hungover to prance.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
