No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
