I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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