I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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