Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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