i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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