I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she looked like the before picture.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
