Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I will be naked everywhere
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Randomize
