I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
