threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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