i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
