You work out of a Hotel?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
