if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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