I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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