the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
