Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
