What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
