make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
