we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
