try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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