god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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