Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
