I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
