I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
