thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
