Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
