I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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