So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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