when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
