he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
where are you?
Hypothermia
We had to coat check the pizza.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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