She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
