am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We just shotgunned beers for America
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
