whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
